Since I have been working at the hospital, I have discovered new things about myself. Maybe, I should say a greater awareness. I have found that pain is transferred from patient to chaplain. That has been a new experience to me. When I first began visiting patients, I was very cool and collected in about all that I saw (which was a whole lot). Death, dying, suicide, drugs, legs sawed off, black feet, respirators, families in great pain, you name it. I dealt with it all on a professional basis not allowing things to get to me emotionally. It was only when I faced pain myself that I found it more real regarding the pain they were facing. I walked out of rooms and including coming home praying for patients that struck a chord in my heart. At least, to a greater entent than I had before. Patients are victims to death, cancer, body parts removed, and much more all because of sin. I am glad that one day they will see another side of life – a better side.
Recently, I walked into a room and found a patient lying there not speaking (she was unable to). For some odd reason I was stirred to talk about heaven, and then sang “Amazing Grace” to her, closing with prayer. I left so glad that I had went back to minister to her, I was actually making preparation to leave.
It is times like these when the Spirit witnesses to my heart that I am doing a great work for the kingdom. When you see so many patients, you can become hardened and uncaring, but a true Chaplain will not allow this kind of attitude to filtrate their emotions. See you another time.
Chaplain Jeanne
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